Breathe

Some days I feel like I'm caught in a rip current. Life is crashing down all around me and I'm trying to go one way yet getting pulled in the wrong direction. After struggling for so long anyone's arms and legs will get tired....it's days like this that it's nice to stop and just breathe. Realize it's all ok. I'm ok. I'm here, now. Every moment is a moment that has passed...one foot forward.

Decisions, decisions....

With all the changes that have been going on I've been exhausted. Exhausted and I've been thinking.... I'm thinking about taking a break from the baking business for a bit. I've felt like it's been taking over my life for a while. I love my customers and I love making the cakes but I'm missing out on time with my kids. It kinda hit home when my son got home from school this week and said, "mommy will you play with me?" and I had to sigh and then say "mommy can't right now, she has to go make a cake." It's like this every week. And I just am thinking to myself, "how much longer is he going to want to play with mommy?".... probably not much longer. My husband works hard so I can be home with the kids and I feel like the point of him working is so I can be here for the kids, so what am I doing? I'm going to take a break and focus on the family for a bit :) Before I know it both kids will be in school and I'll have more time on my hands to bake....and I'm not quiting completely...just slowing it down a lot :) 

First Day of Kindergarten

This past Monday was my oldest son's first day of kindergarten. I must say it was a crazy day. There was a lot of emotion on that day. I wasn't one of the mom's who was sobbing- but I did shed a couple tears. My son was very excited, I think it the transition was harder for me than it was for him. I was really tired the second day of waking up at 6 am. I was not used to the early morning schedule, although day 3 has been a little bit easier. I think all in all I'm getting used to the morning traffic and school parking. But it's still a little weird :)

Butterfly & Roses Cake

I did this cake this week and thought I'd share it with you guys. It was a very symbolic cake since it was a cake made for a family who lost a loved one. They get together and remember her on her birthday. It was a very touching cake to make and I put as much love into it as I could. 

Sometimes when it gets really crazy and busy it's easy to take it all for granted. I think it's good to take a moment to slow down and think about the important people in your life. And it's even better to tell those people that they are important to you... 

A Cyclone

I've started reading "The Wizard of Oz" to my 5 year old son. I believe that kids should learn the classics and be exposed to them at home as well as at school. He's loving it by the way :)

One point that he was very interested in was the cyclone. Since we live in southern California we don't really talk about them. But we are very skilled in the Earthquake drill and my kids have experienced multiple earthquakes.
As I was explaining to my son about tornadoes and cyclones I thought about my life. Sometimes it seems like the floor is shaking, just like an earthquake. Other times it seems as if my life has been swept up in the air and tossed about. Where will I land? What land will I land in? Will a good witch will grant me safe passage? Right now it's one of those moments where the cyclone has lifted my life in the air and everything is getting tossed about. I felt a little hopeless when it started but now I'm excited to see where I'll be when I land.

Life is just getting so busy. My son's starting kindergarten on Monday. I'm not ready to let go. He's in soccer and really learning some great lessons. I've become the "Team Mom" and I'm really, really not sure how that happened. My daughter is not a baby anymore- I just keep telling her she'll always be my baby no matter how big she gets. I'm learning how to let go and learning that I'm not as strong as I thought I was. My cake business has been growing, but I'm thinking about slowing it down a little. At least until both kids are in school. These days I feel like I'm being pulled in all different directions. How does one person balance it all?

A great analogy would be a tight rope walker who's balancing people on her shoulders and those people are jumping around and dancing. The tightrope walker also has multiple ropes that are attached to her and are pulling in different directions. Like I said, I'm in a tornado. Exciting and terrifying all at the same time. Now all I have to do is try to keep my feet on the ground.

Jack Skellington Cake in buttercream

This cake was for a customer's husband's birthday. I thought it was fun, definitely different than my typical birthday cakes. And I love Halloween so this was a little bit of a treat for me to be able to do something like this. Anyway...the cake is a chocolate cake with oreo crumb filling and vanilla buttercream filling. It started out covered in smooth buttercream and I piped on all the details- this part took a long time. 

Aside from taking a few breaks for hand cramps it went really smoothly. And the finished cake looks like this:

 Around the sides of the cake are quotes from the movie "The Nightmare Before Christmas". They say "What's this? What's this?" and "I can't believe my eyes!" Both are memorable quotes from the movie.

Baking Secret: To achieve the right shade of black buttercream- use cocoa powder and black gel food coloring. 

Every baker has her day...

Yes, I create cakes as a job. Yes, I always deliver my cakes on time. Yes, I'm proud of my work....but it doesn't always go as smoothly as it seems. If you've ever watched "Ace of Cakes" or "DC Cupcakes" then you've probably witnessed their stress or one cake collapse. It's just part of the business. When you work with sugar it doesn't want to stay- it wants to pull away, separate, melt, etc. So here I am admitting I've had my fair share of mishaps, forgotten steps and fondant failure. When that happens it ends up like this: 

But as I've told myself hundreds of times, "it's just cake. It's not the end of the world". Go ahead and get any tears out you need to. Give yourself a little break. Then come back and start over. I know it's not what you want to happen, but it just does. And it's ok. This is why I watch cake shows - as horrible as it sounds it's nice to see them stress out and see their $1,000 creations collapse. It makes me feel better :) 

But it's usually fixable. In this case my fondant didn't go on right....grrr...yes, still a lil bitter about it. But I went back and removed all fondant and cut the cake underneath (a crucial step). This is what it looked like- a bit bare:

But it turned out like this:

Hopefully this will inspire someone not to give up. Everyone has challenges, but you can work through them....even if it keeps you up till 2 am multiple nights in a row. In the end, it'll all work out and maybe it'll turn out beautiful.